When I Get Home Prussia Always Pretends To Be Dead
by sonreirbot
Summary: Based on Miku Hatsune's : When I Get Home My Wife Always Pretends to be Dead.   Ludwig always seems to be greeted by a bloodstained carpet and a "dead" Gilbert. After several surprises, he begins to wonder, what's making Gilbert do this! AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is an art trade with abbylilwolf on deviantart. (: She asked me to write a Germany x Prussia fic, AND WHO AM I TO DISOBEY. Anywhore, I loved writing this, and I hope she enjoys reading it! Also, to the other people reading this, I hope you enjoy it as well! (: By the way, I'm going to be making this several chappies! You heard me right. I should be working on HSS, but I just have to start new stories before finishing one! I'm actually in the middle of chapter 4, so don't worry! **

**Sorry for any mistakes, typos, etc.**

**P.S - This might turn to M.. but it's all up to abbylilwolf. :D  
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**Also this song fic is based on, When I Get Home, My Wife Always Pretends to Be Dead by Miku Hatsune. I swear as soon as I heard that song I instantly though, GERMANY AND PRUSSIA! xDD Also, I changed the lyrics slightly just to make it fit. Like she is now he, but I left the wife part in, just cause. :P **

**Happy reading ya'll~!**

_When I open the door _

_ there's my wife collapsed_

_ With a kitchen knife sticking out of his back_

_ The carpet's all bloodstained _

_ If a stranger saw this , they might faint _

"Gilbert, I'm home!" Ludwig called out, as he closed the door, stuffing the house keys into his pocket. He set his suitcase down on the ground and took off his coat and hanged it in the closet. He looked around and noticed it was quiet.

_Too quiet. _

"Gilbert, are you here?" Usually he's met by a happy albino running towards him and hugging hima and saying how much he missed him, and it hardly gets this quiet, unless the Prussian was up to something. "Gil-" He stopped as he walked into the living room. There was Gilbert, laying face down on the carpet. With what appeared to be a kitchen knife sticking out of his back. He looked around the living room. There was a huge bloodstain on the carpet. And footsteps covered with blood coming from the kitchen leading to Gilbert. He sighed.

'_Mein gott, thankfully I convinced Feliciano to not come over today or he'd start screaming and crying and calling the police..'_

_I calm myself down _

"_Looks like the clean up will be tough today." _

_I laugh. _

_And still face down but looking satisfied,_

_Kesesese, my wife laughs. _

_'Deep breaths Ludwig, it's not real, don't panic, he's fine.' _The man thinks as he looks at the knife in his.. wife's back.

Ludwig rubs Gilbert's head, and feels him nuzzle into the touch.

"Looks like the clean up will be tough today, huh." The tall German chuckles.

"Kesesese." Ludwig hears as he looks down and sees his "wife" as Gilbert wants him to call him, looking up at him with a grin. "You wash the bloodstains out this time!" He got up and ran into the kitchen to get the cleaning supplies.. still with the knife in his back. Ludwig stared blankly at what just happened, and began to shake his head. A small smile grew on his usually stoic face, "Just a normal day.. I wonder what'll happen tomorrow."

_When I get home my wife always pretends to be dead, _

_What kind of death he'll have tomorrow, _

_I can't even begin to imagine! _

**A/N : Next chapter coming out tomorrow er today.. it's 1:02 in the morning.. so like, during the evening? xD Gah I'm confusing myself! Anyway, I actually have an easier time writing this! Also, this story will have about 2 more chapter I think. If I'm correct. I don't even know. xD**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Power outage Saturday... Still don't have any power in my house, so I'm writing this at a relative's house. That's why the chapter is so late! Gah, I love snow but seriously, ONE SEASON AT A TIME PLEASE. xD**

**I didn't have school fer three days cause of it and the snow.. por que. I still don't have power.. day five of no electricity, sob. ; u ;**

**Anywho, enjoy. (: **

**P.S - New chappie coming out this weekend, hopefully, for which story, you ask? You'll have to find out! Also, a one-shot coming out this week, it's a South Park fic though. Pairing is Style, etc. This is late buuut, **

**Happy Halloween by the way! Hope you guys stayed safe! :D **

**/end rambling. **

_One day he had an arrow through his head, _

_Another time, dressed as a soldier with a gun,_

_The time I saw him in a dead sunfish costume,_

_I thought I'd close the door on him. _

_A few days later ~_

"Feliciano, I don't think you and Kiku should come over today.."

"Ve, but why? We won't stay long, just for dinner!"

"He is right, we won't be long."

Ludwig rubbed his face, knowing he couldn't get them to not come over. Usually, he would let them come over for dinner, but Gilbert had been acting up lately. He had a sudden flashback to yesterday, when he found Gilbert in front of the door, laying on his back, dressed as a soldier with a gun. As usual,

blood all over the place. He shuddered as he remember how long it took to clean it all up.

"Is everything all right?" Kiku asked, tilting his head to the side.

The German man shook his head, "Yes yes, and fine, I guess you two could come if it's just for dinner, let me tell Gilbert about it so he can cook enough."

As he took out his phone to text the other about making dinner for four instead, Feliciano let out a cheer and Kiku smiled widely.

_**Gilbert, Kiku and Feliciano are coming over, is there enough food for them? **_

_**Yea what time r they coming? :D **_

_**Around 5, the same time I get home. **_

_**Kay!**_

He closed his phone, and nodded his head at the other two, silently saying they're welcome to come.

'_I hope Gilbert doesn't act up again..'_

**xxxLineBreakerxxx**

He stared at the door. Afraid yet anixious to see what lied on the other side.

"H-here we are.." He stuttered out as he put the key into the door, turning it, and pulled it out, opening the door. Anxiously, he opened the door revealing, Gilbert, sitting on the side of the entrance, with an arrow in his head, and a pool of blood surrounding him. As expected, Feliciano let out a scream and fainted, while Kiku ran over to Gilbert panicking and asking if he was okay. The Asian man turned to Ludwig,

"W-why are you just standing there? Help him!" His voice shaking, as he turned his head to stare at the arrow.

Ludwig let out sigh, and walked over to the two, and bent down. When he was at eye-level with Gilbert, he slapped him across the face.

"Ow! Why'd you slap the awesome me?" Gilbert yelped as he glared at the other, while rubbing his cheek. Kiku stared at both of them.

"I told you they were coming over." Ludwig glared back at him, as he pointed to Feliciano, who was still unconcious. Kiku quickly got up, and carried Feliciano to the nearest couch.

"I know, I just wanted to see everyone's reaction," He pouted, as he got up. "I'll go serve dinner!"

Ludwig watched as he saw Gilbert in the kitchen, slicing something at the last minute, and serving the meal on four plates.

With the arrow in his head still.

He let out a deep chuckle, and looked at the carpet. He stopped laughing, and rubbed his face roughly. _'Ugh..'_

_Cleaning up afterwords is such a pain, _

_Having to wash the bloodstains from the carpet and all, _

_so I wish he'd spare the sight of him_

_cooking dinner with that arrow in his head._

**xxxLineBreakerxxx**

As they all were settled at the table, Ludwig looked around at everyone. They were chatting casually, and smiling. Gilbert seemed to be having a lot of fun, but in his eyes, he saw something, that he hasn't seen at all.

_Lonliness? _

He drank some water, and lifted his eyebrow. '_I'll ask Gilbert about it when Kiku and Feliciano leave..' _

_Later ~_

"Thanks for having us over!" Kiku and Feliciano both got their items, and waved to the two Germans as they walked out the door. Ludwig and Gilbert said their goodbyes, and shut the door. Ludwig stood against the door, and turned to Gilbert.

"Congradulations on making those two panic."

Gilbert looked at him, and broke into laughter. "Kesesese! I know right? It was hilarious! Did you see their faces? You gotta admit, today's act was awesome, like me!"

They both began to chuckle together, Ludwig remembered what he saw in his eyes during dinner. He decided to confront him about it. He walked over to him, and hugged him. "Are you okay, is there something bothering you?"

Gilbert seemed to tense slightly, but it went away just as soon as it happened. "Something bothering me? No way! I'm fine, and awesome as always! Uh, I'm going to clean up and then head to bed okay?"

The other wanted to question him more, but decided to ponder into it more tomorrow, "No no, you go to bed, I'll clean up." he kissed the other on the cheek, and headed into the dining room. He heard the other run up the stairs, and felt that Gilbert preteneding to be dead whenever he arrived home, had a meaning to it.

_When I get home my wife always pretends to be dead, _

_If I compliment him, he gets all caught up with it, _

_So, I'll do my best to ignore it. _

**A/N: Oh my.. this chapter was really easy to write lmao. And that's like, rare for me, to write something so.. casually? XD**

**Meh. **

**Anywho, I hope you liked this chapter, annnd things'll get slightly serious in the next chappie? Maybe? Slightly? I don't know. xD**

**THANK GOD I'M STAYING AT MY UNCLE'S HOUSE, I MISS THE INTERNETZ. **

**/end caps **

**Okay, well, I hope you guys liked this chapter, and it's longer than the first one, that's good right? :D And I'm changing it to M. Because. You know. HAPPY TIMES HAPPEN SOON. ;D**

**Alysson out! -insert heart-**


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